every wander

We're already two thirds of the way done with the year. I'll be honest and say that I was expecting much more from 2020. My mindset was so positive at the beginning of the year, but then the pandemic happened, and life happened, and now I just don't know where my mind is at.  It wants to be happy, but I feel like there's something holding it back. I strive for a life of abundance and fulfillment, but I'm still not sure what that means for me. It's almost been 5 years since I've graduated college, and I'm still as lost as ever. I've heard that adulting goes something like this, is that true? Am I just  feeling what most other adults feel? I'm trying to get back to going upward on this rollercoaster, but it feels like as soon as I go a bit up, it just goes a little more down.  I feel like I haven't started living, like I haven't started my life. What am I living for? Who am I living for? What does it even mean to be alive.  These are just s...

I finally became fed up with my adult acne and itchy/dry scalp , so I decided to make an appointment with a dermatologist covered under my health insurance. I was basically there for 10 minutes (mostly waiting). The doctor came in and a nurse took down notes. He took a little bit of a look at my scalp, and I explained how my pimples are random on my face, back, and chest. After explaining, he basically just prescribed me medicine and then said to follow up in a few months if it's not working. If it's working then come back in a year to renew the prescription. It was so much simpler than I thought it was going to be. It's been about two weeks and I would say it has already helped! So far I have not had any random pimples appear and my scalp has been a lot less itchy. Maybe it's just been all in my head, but I would say these products and tips have worked! Below is what the dermatologist prescribed me:  For my scalp , the doctor said it's most likely some so...

I was cleaning through my last college backpack and found these cards stuffed in there. The first one I pulled out was my Uncle's. I never really think too much about what he says or have taken it to heart, but reading it at that moment something really struck me. "... Enjoy your life. It's never too late. Go make yourself happy. Have great dreams... " It made me sit there and think and wonder if he feels like it had been too late for him.He's disabled, and has to live with us and stay home all day and there have been times when he mumbles about being stuck and that it's too late for him.  But as he wrote, it's  never  too late. Reading it made me feel like I need to go and do something, the thing I dream and I have to have great dreams because I am able to. It made my heart turn for him, and also made me scared because maybe I do feel like it's already too late and maybe I'm not as happy as I could be making myself. Don't get me wrong t...

This question has been bugging me, tapping on my brain whenever there's free time on hand. It makes my mind run far away from where it is trying to get to where it wants to be. But for those who are lost, when was it that we stopped chasing after our dreams? When was it that we decided that it was unobtainable? It's so far now that I can't even remember what my dream or passion was. What is my purpose now? I had a conversation the other day with one of my colleagues, and he mentioned that he found his purpose in life was to help people. I also want to help people, but to narrow it down, I want to help people find the beauty within herself or himself. But is that my passion and dream? My purpose? I think about what parents dream their kids to be. I'm sure every parent dreams that their kid will have a passion and will pursue it with his or her whole heart. It makes me wonder if my parents can see that I'm lost, and haven't found my passion or didn't follo...