Relationships | MR. MR.

My Reaction is My Responsibility.

At this time, I think this is one of the biggest lessons my mom has taught me. You are responsible for the way you react, so think twice before overreacting. There have been many times in my life when I overreacted to a situation or small comment and later on had to take responsibility for my initial reaction. For example, some nights when my boyfriend goes out a little late with his friends and hasn't returned my calls or texts, my mind might wander off far. Though he was probably just with his guys doing the things guys do, I was sulking in my thoughts of many doubts. Then when he finally gives me that late night call as promised when he gets home, I can't help but react with my angry tone over the phone. This could then get him to react either apologetically or being fed up that he has to deal with the overthinking again. Either way, the night is either going to be short and sweet or long and frustrating but it all depends on how each of us react to each others words and actions. I may continue to be angry even though he's trying to apologize, which may then cause him to become angry as the conversation lengthens. I would then have to take responsibility of both of us being in furious conversation now since I had not accepted his apologetic tone earlier. I also sometimes choose to just be happy that he's safe at home and kept his promise of calling me, but then also have to think that I don't want him taking advantage of the situation every time thinking that I'll just be happy with his late nights all the time. I just recently watched the movie Dope on Netflix, and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wouldn't want it to become a "slippery slope".

Whenever I come across a situation that I see may have a negative ending, the phrase MR. MR. helps me take a step back and think twice about how I'm going to react to something because I know I'll have to take responsibility of however it is I'm going to react. I've outlined some simple steps to take when running into stressful situations:

1. Listen to what the other person is saying. This is really important. Don't just hear what the other person is saying while your thinking about how you want to respond. You have to really listen to the other person.
2. Analyze the situation and how you think the person is feeling.
3. Take a step back and think about your reaction options. Should you respond disappointed? Happy? sympathetic? Like you don't care?
4. Think about how your reaction may cause the other person to react/feel and what outcomes may spring out of it. A negative reaction may bring out your point, but will it cross the other person over their line, which might cause a long day/night/weeks of disagreement? If you react positively right a way, are you letting the other person push you over, which will then burden you with that person believing they can always push you over to get what they want everytime?
5. Make a decision.
6. React.

The steps will continuously repeat during the course of the conversation until a conclusion is finally reached, even if a conclusion isn't come to until weeks later.

So any time you come across a heated conversation, pause and think about MR. MR. My Reaction is My Responsibility. And ask yourself if you want to be responsible for the outcome of your reaction, especially in situations where you may be frustrated with yourself or the other person.

At the end, never forget to love yourself ♡